IVF Series: 17 (The Last in this Series)

I am still on my 4 different medications and I am just wanting to be done! I am full of bruises from my injection. Not to mention, the skin now is getting irritated and very itchy! Guess that’s what happens when you jab yourself day after day in essentially the same spot for 59 days straight. Also, my stomach has all kinds of marks on it from the patches I wear. I just feel so beat up. Even seeing an ultrasound, I still have a hard time really grasping I am growing a human. People have asked me about my future plans and honestly, I don’t know. I never thought I would get the luxury of being in this position so I haven’t really thought that much about it. I am still skeptical that this will actually end in a positive way. Every time I use the restroom, a part of me thinks I am going to find something bad. I try to stay positive, but it is really hard when good things haven’t really been in my list of events when it comes to the fertility department. When I look at myself, I just think I am fat. I know it’s early but I guess I just thought I would easily dismiss my self consciousness and replace it with happy thoughts. I thought I would just be like oh yay me I’m pregnant, so cute. This is far from the truth. Instead, I just think I look tubby and no one would even know that I am pregnant. For 2 weeks straight I was throwing up violently everyday, multiple times a day. I guess this is a strong indicator that I actually am pregnant. But it wasn’t all happy thoughts. I got to the point where I couldn’t even drink water. Also, I was throwing up so hard I would almost poop my pants. And anytime you poop your pants after the age of 6 you’re in trouble. I tried basically everything in the book for nausea. I finally just couldn’t take it anymore because I was becoming too dehydrated. I messaged my doctor and they suggested Unisom (a sleep aid) and Vitamin B6. I thought, ok yeah right but at this point I will try anything. Well it did work. I went 3 days without throwing up, being able to eat, and being able to drink water. My doctor said it won’t harm the baby, so I will continue taking it everyday so I can function. I tried going a couple days without it and I was incredibly sick again. So since it’s harmless, I’m not going to make an experiment out of it anymore. We had another ultrasound (still no Brock unfortunately) and this time it was *almost real! Wow what a difference 2 weeks makes! This time I got to see an actual baby. It was all curled up but then it started to wiggle! It kept wiggling! It’s heartbeat was flashing on the screen! It was crazy to watch this little miracle right before my eyes! And how is that thing inside me?? It was totally doing it’s own thing, just livin life. I got a few pictures but the pictures really don’t do it justice. It was my last ultrasound with my IVF doctor! They gave me a weaning schedule to start backing off my meds. (Thanks goodness!!) The process to wean off my meds is about a month long. So, in the meantime, we just keep moving forward. I am so relieved to be released from that doctor. It has been such a difficult journey; with their lack of customer service making it even worse. I have been waiting for the day I can be done with them. Now, the only contact I have with them is paying my bills.

And for now,

Xoxo