Life After IVF: 13

And now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for! I decided to decorate my house in a winter wonderland theme with hints of pink and blue for our gender reveal extravaganza. Because of Covid and the restrictions, it wasn’t the original gathering that we anticipated. But that’s okay because it was still such a special moment and it was absolutely beautiful. My friend who is a pastry chef made our cake. She also made the cutest little cookies that were hats and mittens in pink and blue. We cut the cake and there it was! BLUE! It’s a boy! I don’t want to say I told you so but...I just knew it! My sister one time said in reference to knowing the gender, she said “the mom just knows.” And she was right. I just knew it. Ever since the very first ultrasound, I remember even the first time I saw that tiny little flicker on the screen, I just felt in my heart it was a boy. Now that we know the gender, it feels even more real. Just in the past week or so, I have felt movements and kicks almost everyday, sometimes even twice a day. It is such a reassuring feeling but it’s also kind of surreal. Knowing the gender just solidifies that he is really his own separate entity. And with all the movements, he is totally just doing his own thing! We have a name picked out, and some people know it. I really didn’t have an opinion either way if we were going to tell people the name or keep it a secret until the birth. I never understood those people that name their baby and then call them that while they are still in the womb or put it in their nursery before they are born. Now, if you are one of those people, before you get all offended, let me tell you. I am starting to just now only understand why some people do that. I sometimes refer to the baby by the name we picked out, sometimes I just call him baby. But I totally get it. They are their own human, doing their own thing….it just so happens it is inside your body. I am starting to think of him as a person. I find myself being curious if he will like this or like that. If he will be wiggly and not like to be swaddled, etc. When I think about those thoughts that I have I think about how far I’ve truly come. The IVF process has been so grueling and very emotional, yet forces you to be emotionally unattached for a long time. I never knew if I could get to the point where I actually envisioned not only just “a child” but “this child.” So seeing how far I have come in the healing process has been very reassuring. So now, I have all of his cute little boy clothes organized and ready to go! The nursery has been set up for awhile it was just a matter of fine tuning and adding a couple boy things. It has become a quiet, peaceful place for me to sit and read and just enjoy the quiet moments knowing that in just a few short months, he will be here.

And for now,

Xoxo