Life After IVF: 21

Brock’s insurance has this program where in order for insurance to cover our infertility costs, I had to sign up for an infertility program. Basically it’s to let them know that you are undergoing the process and they are there if you have any questions. They called me one time, asked me if I was depressed or have ever thought about harming myself or others and that was about it. We went through 8 months of IVF stuff and they never called me again. I wasn’t too bothered mostly because I figured it was just kind of protocol. I never really expected to go to them for advice or help anyways. So fast forward, and as soon as I am pregnant I see that there is a maternity support program that you sign up for. I signed up for it with the same intentions as before; basically just to let them know I am pregnant and insurance covers what it’s supposed to. Someone called me right after I signed up and I was “assigned” a nurse. She talked with me about various things, asked me the usual questions but then also had more suggestions and inputs for the next steps of my pregnancy. She then also called me a few weeks later to follow up and discuss whatever issues were occurring at the time. She mentioned that she would call me again in a few weeks also and is sending me a book to read. It has been very comforting talking with an expert because all of this is so foreign to me. But there has been something weighing on my mind. Many people don't know this, but there are only a few states that mandate insurance covers infertility. Minnesota is not one of them. I strongly believe that infertility should absolutely be covered by insurance because it is in fact a medical condition. Their argument is that having children is an elective; a choice, so that's why they don't have to cover it. That is a whole other topic I won't get into. So, it is extremely rare that our insurance does in fact cover infertility and I am absolutely blessed beyond measure. However, I can’t help but think about my past experience with the other “program” I was in. There was little to no effort put into that, and while it may be a different company or something, I don’t really know, it’s still the same insurance overseeing it. I think this is a prime example of what is wrong with society when it comes to infertility. I feel like many people can’t relate, or don’t know what to say, so they just don’t. That causes the person who is struggling with the infertility to feel isolated and alone. I think they definitely need to improve that so called support program. They need to find experts, or even people who have gone through it to be a voice to those people who are currently going through it. There needs to be advice and materials given to those people too. You shouldn’t get all the attention and help just because you are pregnant. There needs to be just as much help for the ones struggling too. Being on both sides of the spectrum and being enrolled in both of these support programs really brought to light just how in the dark infertility is. It’s like this big ominous cloud that is there; some people even see it, but it’s not addressed. People would much rather talk about the happy stuff like pregnancy and how great it is and what not. It has always been my goal through this blog to reach up and take the dark ominous cloud of infertility and bring it to reality. Because, instead of running away from our fears and hurt, we should be attacking it head on.

And for now,

Xoxo