Newborn Life: 6

Newborn Life. Man, where do I even begin? Aside from all that crazy stuff we had in the beginning, it’s still pretty hectic. It’s kind of funny because whenever I heard new moms talk about how they can’t get anything done like laundry or whatever I never understood it. I thought babies just sleep all the time, how can’t you get anything done? Ha! That’s funny. I get it now. Yes, they sleep a lot but they also are very demanding! I feel like by the time I feed him, change him, hold him, he kind of falls asleep, not really, it’s time to do it all over again! They say “sleep when the baby sleeps.” I don’t know if that’s the best advice because at the end of the day, you still have to get stuff done. I find myself just trying to get a quick minute to do laundry or dishes or whatever when he is sleeping. I did read in the brochure they give you in the hospital that you have to think about your sleep hours in a different way. Obviously you can’t sleep through the night, but if you take naps during the day, you add those hours up together to get your full sleep. Now to me that makes more sense. I feel like if I track my sleep that way, I am not FULLY sleep deprived. My sister said I didn’t look like a newborn zombie mom, so that’s reassuring. Also, Brock and I have been alternating the feedings at night so that helps a lot. I have been battling my lack of milk supply which has been way harder mentally than I ever imagined. The diuretic med that they gave me as a fluid reducer, did just that, reduced all fluids. My supply was basically nonexistent. They didn’t tell me that it was going to affect it until 2 days after taking it. After being on it a week, my milk supply completely plummeted. I was heartbroken, frustrated, and confused. Another thing to battle. I wanted to give up. The supply just isn’t there. I started using fennel oil after every pumping session. I was practically bathing in it trying to get my supply up. One thing I noticed about all of this is that it is very slow moving. Everything takes days, even weeks. It’s definitely not for the impatient. I gave the oil 2 weeks because it is suggested not to use it longer than that. I didn’t really see much improvement. I’ve been going back and forth with the idea of just stopping. I want to stop, I don’t want to stop, I want to stop, I don’t want to stop. I just recently bought some bars that contain a bunch of good stuff and are supposed to up your supply. The reviews were great. I know that everyone is different so I wasn’t holding my breath. I just keep telling myself, “just one more thing.” I will try “just one more thing.” But really, how much do you put yourself through before you need to let it go?

And for now,

Xoxo