Newborn Life: 9

People try to be good people. I truly believe that. But, sometimes in the midst of trying so hard to say the right thing you end up saying the wrong thing. We all are guilty. You don’t think you are? Yeah, you’ve done it too. I’ve done it too...we all have done it. Immediately when someone hears of a hardship their brain tries to relate. They say something along the lines of, “Yeah, I knew someone who had that sort of similar thing but it kind of went a little differently.” And, in all reality, what they are trying to string together makes absolutely no sense. Someone may say that those people are just trying to be nice. They are. I don’t think they are malicious at all. However, what if when we were talking we took a step back and actually thought about what we were going to say and how that might affect someone before we go word vomiting all over them. Especially when someone is going through a hard time, that’s when we do it the most. People always try to “at least” you. “At least you know you can get pregnant.” “At least you had a child.” “At least you have a supportive family.” “At least…….at least you’re not dead???” Sometimes people think it’s their job to find a silver lining for you. But what we fail to understand is the only person who is going to be able to truly work through their emotions and find their own true silver lining is themselves. You might not even realize you’re doing it! I didn’t until I was having a very serious conversation with someone and they brought up this “at least” point. I quickly had to replay our conversation in my head hoping I didn’t say something stupid. But whew! I hadn’t! (I don’t think) But I almost did and that’s when it really hit me. I challenge everyone reading this to take a step back and really think about what you are about to say. It’s not a race to see who can get the most words out, or who can say the most philosophical thing. You don’t need to understand to listen. You don’t have to have empathy to share sympathy. And you don’t need to find their silver lining for them, because what you may think is a silver lining, may not be to them.

And for now,

Xoxo