Sometimes joy comes from within yourself.

I’ve been trying to figure out where I belong. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I’m stuck somewhere between here and there. I went through massive infertility struggles but I came out successful. So where does that put me? Finally one day while I was driving (that’s when I do my best thinking), I realized something. I was trying to keep myself in the category of infertility with the hurt and pain because that is what I knew best. I was so passionate about wanting people to know that it didn’t just go away. But here is the truth. It has been slowly lifting, and that’s ok. That’s more than ok. That’s a huge accomplishment. Not because I had a kid, yay me, but because I worked through my struggles. I have been thinking about my friends who still struggle with infertility. My heart grieves with them, and if you are reading this, I want you to know that. I want them to know that having a child doesn’t lessen the excruciating pain that was beforehand. But the future does look brighter. And I need to accept that. I need to accept that I can be ok even though others are still hurting. Sometimes I feel like I need to be in the deep dark trenches with someone to understand their hurt and pain. But that’s not true. I am allowed to come out of the darkness, be happy about it, but still grieve the pain with them. That is empathy. I can share those feelings but in a past tense. Have you ever felt this way? It’s almost like you feel guilty sharing about the happy moments in your life. Like you feel like you are bragging or something. This can be with anything in life. That new job, new car, new house, new take on life, whatever. That’s ok. You are allowed to be happy and share your happiness. Some people may not be able to accept or handle your happiness but you shouldn’t feel guilty. They may still be hurting, in fact, the specific area you are thriving in may be where they are hurting the most. Be patient and understanding but never feel obligated to suppress joy.

And for now,

Xoxo