The Doctor Will See You Now.

I have Endometriosis, and all of my doctors know that. But what the doctors don’t know is the amount of pain that Endometriosis carries with me everyday. They told me that after my surgery the pain would go away but what they don’t know is that it never really did. It did help a little. I now only have to take 9 Ibuprofen in a day instead of 16. They don’t know that I not only have physical pain more days in the month than just the typical ones. They know that I went through many fertility treatments, and at one point they saw me every few days for a couple months. And, they also know that all of those treatments were unsuccessful. But what they don’t know is that as soon as I left the doctor’s office after seeing an empty ultrasound for the countless time, I was defeated. They don’t know that I blame myself for my husband not being able to be a dad because, well, it is my fault. They don’t know that when I see children I have started getting annoyed by them but really maybe I am just masking my true sadness. They don’t know that I have anxiety going to any children related events because I don’t have kids and feel like I don’t belong there. The doctors know that I have Endometriosis. But what they also don’t know is that I am a warrior. They don’t know that I originally left my full time job to pursue a passion of mine. I discovered a real love for dogs that I never knew was possible. Through time, I uncovered a raw emotion of pain that many other people struggle with as well. And with that emotion I have been able to write, which has always been one of my passions, but expose many of the true feelings of infertility. But most importantly, through all of that, I discovered a very powerful amount of inner strength that I never knew I had.

That is what the doctors don’t know.

But I do.

And for now,

Xoxo