What's Next: Eight.

It’s the night before the transfer. I am feeling anxious. I feel like I’ve done everything I can do and now there’s nothing I can do…..except everything. It all comes down to this. Will my body take it? I never assumed that just because I had one successful previously, that it was a given this one would be as well. I am a realist. Each IVF process is so different from each other. Yes, the injections are same, well, not even that I guess because one of mine this time around was an injection form when before it was a patch. My body handled the medications differently this time too. My lining has been built up and is ready to welcome my new tenant who will hopefully be signing a lease for 9 months. I’ve swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted, swept some more, did everything I possibly could to get my “house” ready. One difference with IVF, is this is most definitely planned so there is a ton of lapsed time. Which is daunting, however, the best way to pass the time is to prep your body. Start eating better meals, cut down on caffeine, cut down on candy (ya right), stay hydrated, drink smoothies that are full of healthy components, take the prenatal vitamins, etc etc. I did it all. The day of the transfer. It’s go time. It’s happening. I woke up feeling pretty anxious. I had to do one injection in the morning and then I had to do a progesterone suppository and lay flat for 30 minutes. I think the stress got to me because after my injection, I started profusely sweating. Dripping sweat. I started violently puking and pooping. I thought oh my gosh, I am never going to get out of the bathroom. The sweat kept pouring down my entire body. I laid on the bathroom floor, just telling myself “don’t pass out, don’t pass out.” All I needed to do was put the suppository in and then I could lay down again for 30 minutes. It took all that was in me to muster up the mental strength to power through what was physically happening. I got it in and then laid down in my bed for 30 minutes. The sweat started to subside and then I started getting really cold. I just tried to talk myself through it even though I still needed to shower, get Mason up, let the dogs out, feed them, and get on the road to my mother in laws house to drop Mason off before my appointment. But, all that didn’t matter if I couldn’t get my body to regulate. Finally, after 30 minutes, I was well enough to continue on my day. I got to Green Bay and Brock met me at his mom’s house and then he drove me to the appointment. This time, I was extra cautious and appropriately paced myself with the amount of water I was required to drink (40oz before the appointment). Last time I was so uncomfortable I was unable to focus. We arrived and were taken back into a surgical area. Brock had to change into scrubs and I in a gown and we were then taken into the exam room. There was peaceful music but my bladder was singing louder at this point. We had to sign a few consents and were explained how the procedure would take place. It was a little different than the last company we were with. With our first transfer, they wheeled the embryo in in a huge incubator with a microscope and tv screen so we could see it. This time, it was kept in an adjoining room. We saw it on a tv screen and they gave us pictures of it as well. When the time came, I laid back and took a deep breath. They had an ultrasound going to view what was going on. As soon as the embryo was placed, a burst of light appeared on the screen. It’s a beautiful visual, really. It really just has to do with the actual ultrasound and then being able to see it, but, the way it happens, is indescribable. I had mentioned to the nurse how cool that was with our last transfer. She then told me that sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn’t. I guess I thought it always happened. Maybe it’s a sign.

And for now,

Xoxo